Entwined in My Heart
by Clairisant-JAG
Summary: A JAG STORY


Songfic - Love Song - Heard it Through the Grapevine by Marvin Gaye   
  
Entwined In My Heart By: Clairisant Classification: AJ/Mac Rating: PG 13   
  
2210 EDT Monday, July 21, 2003 JAG Headquarters Falls Church, VA   
  
Mac walked into the darkened bullpen that night to get the file she needed for court the next day, but had left on her desk in her hurry to leave earlier that evening. As usual, there was the traditional---well, for her--- mountain of paperwork on her desk, but she knew just where things were in the mess. However, there was something wrong! Her desk was not as she left it at 1830. There, sitting in the middle of a spot that had not been clear of paperwork before, was a buff-colored envelope with her name written on it.   
  
'It looks like the Admiral's hand writing,' she thought as she picked it up and opened it. Mac read:   
  
My Dearest Sarah,  
  
By the time you read this, I will be gone. That's why I finally feel that I can tell you exactly how I feel, how I have felt for a very long time now. I know your secret, and I can just bet you're wondering how I knew, how I found out that you are planning on leaving JAG AGAIN!   
  
Don't you have any idea how not seeing you everyday will sadden my heart to no end? That you plan to go to your old love Farrow was certainly a shock to me. How can you not know that I love you more than he ever could? Yesterday, when I heard it through the office grapevine (no, I will not say who) that you were leaving, I thought I would lose my mind! SEALS aren't supposed to break down the way I did in my office today, and I am pretty sure Tiner knows I was.... Okay, I admit it, I was crying. I just could not hold the tears back. I am losing my mind! You're leaving me! Losing you again is the end, there is no reason to go on. Without you, life is not worth living, you mean that much to me. You could have told me that you were going to him, and I might have said these things to your face, but since I heard it through the grapevine, I will not have that chance. I am so confused... I wish we could've talked. I'd like to have known if you really think he can love you more. But I guess it is too late for that now. I hope you have a happy life, Sarah, and just remember, that there was once a man who loved you more than life itself. Good-bye, my darling, AJ   
  
Tears splashed onto the paper she held, it was not until then that Sarah even realized that she was crying. How had AJ gotten things so wrong? Where could he have heard such nonsense? That she would leave him and JAG for an old love that she never even thought of these days? But he loved her! She was overjoyed about that! Finally, to see the words that she longed to hear from him! But there was something wrong in the letter...she read it over again, and realized that this was a suicide note!   
  
In the next heartbeat, she was running out of the building as fast as her legs could carry her. She barely stopped at the gate, shouting to the guard that it was an emergency and that she was in one-hell-of-a-hurry. Mac only prayed, as she raced towards AJ's house, that she was not too late.   
  
He had obviously meant for her to find the note in the morning. He would have no way of knowing that she would come back to the office this evening and find the note this early. Maybe she would still be in time! 'HELL, no maybe about it, Marine! You WILL be in time and he WILL be alive!' she thought as she broke every speed record posted on her way to him. 'And when I get there, I will kill him myself for not telling me sooner that he loves me and wasting all this time!'   
  
She could not believe that her beloved AJ would even consider suicide! But then if he loved her as much as she loved him, maybe he would think life was not worth living if the one he loved was truly out of reach. 'God, she just had to be in time!' Her foot pressed harder on the accelerator.   
  
The lights were on when Mac pulled up at AJ's house, 'but that could mean anything' she told herself. Throwing open the car door, she ran up to the house. She was about to pound on the door when she realized that if he were dead he would not be able to come to the door. And if he was alive, he might kill himself quickly, instead of coming to the door!   
  
Just as she reached for the doorknob it opened, and she fell into AJ's arms, "Thank God I got here in time!"   
  
At the same time that he exclaimed, "Mac, what are you doing here?" Then he saw his note to her clutched in her hand. "You found my note?"   
  
"Yes, I went back to the office for a file and saw it. I'm so glad that I did and that I'm in time to stop you!"   
  
"You can't stop me, Sarah,' his voice had gone very soft now that he knew she knew of his feelings for her. "It's to late too stop it."   
  
"My GOD! NO!!! We need to get you to the hospital!"   
  
"Hospital? Sarah there is no need for that."   
  
"AJ, there is! I love you, too! You have to go on living! What was it you took? They'll want to know at the hos..."   
  
"What did you say?" he interrupted.   
  
"I said, 'What did you take...."   
  
He once again interrupted her, "No, not that! The other part."   
  
Looking up into his amazing brown eyes, she repeated the words he had longed to hear. "I love you, AJ."   
  
"Oh, Darlin', how I've dreamed of someday hearing that from...Wait a minute! You are leaving me for someone else...how can you say you love me?"   
  
"AJ, I have no idea where you got that information, but it is NOT true! I've thought about leaving JAG several times, and then each time I do, I see you walk through the bullpen, or go into your office, and know that I couldn't face a day without seeing you. I'd never leave JAG, or you, for someone else. For me, there is no one else!"   
  
There were no words. AJ's heart was full to overflowing. He bent his head down until their lips met. Mac broke the kiss and urged, "AJ, we really need to get you to the hospital, I don't want you to die!"   
  
"Sarah, do you know something I don't? I've never felt better than I do right now. Why would you think otherwise?"   
  
"Because your note said you were going to kill yourself, and when I got here to stop you, you said it was too late. So I figured that you had taken poison or something!"   
  
"Sarah, Darlin', I'm not committing suicide! I've retired from JAG, that's all."   
  
"Retired?"   
  
"Yes, retired."   
  
"But your note..." she looked down at the crumpled paper in her hand. Smoothing it out, she tried to read it through the wrinkles and tear stains. When she finished, she looked up at him, smiling tentatively, she said, "Retired?"   
  
He gave her his crooked grin and assured her once again, "Yes, retired."   
  
"So, I am not under your chain of command any more?"   
  
"No, ma'am!"   
  
"Then I can do this without fear?" she wrapped her arms around his neck.   
  
"Yes, ma'am!"   
  
"And this?" and she kissed him passionately. "Oh, yes, ma'am!" AJ took her face in his hands and looking tenderly into her eyes he whispered, "Sarah, its heaven to at last be able to hold you like this!"   
  
"All the time we've wasted!" she moaned softly.   
  
"Not wasted, Darlin'. Think of how well we've come to know each other! Each moment has led to this..." he dropped to one knee in front of her and took both of her hands in his.   
  
"Oh, AJ! What are you doing?" she looked down at him in amazement.   
  
"We are free now to love each other and I want to spend every second of the rest of our lives doing just that. Sarah Mackenzie, would you do me the ultimate honor of becoming my wife?"   
  
"Can this really be real?"   
  
"If it's not, I don't ever want to wake from this dream."   
  
Mac knelt in from of him, saying, "I have dreamed of this moment so many times that I am having a hard time believing that it is real this time."   
  
"It's real, Sarah, it's real. Marry me. Make me the happiest man in the world."   
  
"And me the luckiest woman alive. Yes, AJ, Yes!"   
  
He drew her into his arms, "I can feel my heart beat in rhythm with yours." He lightly brushed her forehead with his lips, feeling her velvety skin. Her lips searched for his, she quivered in anticipation. The kiss slowly became more urgent. Their bodies pressed closer together and their tongues gently probed, exploring each other's mouths, needing more. Trailing kisses to her neck, his strong arms lifted her as he carried her to his bedroom. She'd never felt so safe and loved. His kisses rained down on her face as he made the short journey, finally laying her on his bed. Their lips met again, tasting a little bit of heaven.   
  
Passion flared, each of them wanting this moment never to end. She melted into his arms as he joined her on the bed. The heat spreading through their bodies as their kisses grew in ardor. As the kiss ended, he smiled down into her passion-filled eyes, savoring the moment.   
  
************ 0630 EDT Tuesday, July 22, 2003 AJ Chegwidden's home McLean, VA   
  
Mac woke the next morning, still snuggled in AJ's arms. 'Home,' she thought, 'I am finally home!' But her next thoughts were not quite so pleasant. She was determined to find out who had told AJ that cockamamie story about her leaving JAG for another man! She was sure it had been Tiner- --he was the biggest gossip in the office---but where could he have come up with such a story? Trying not to wake AJ, Mac slowly tried to slide out of bed.   
  
AJ had been awake, but had just been enjoying having her in his arms. However, when she tried to slide out of bed, he pulled her back against him and nuzzled her neck.   
  
"Mmmm... morning," she said.   
  
"Very good morning."   
  
"I need to get showered before heading into the office," Mac told him.   
  
"I'll join you, Darlin'," he answered getting up and then turning to lift her out of the bed and carry her into the bathroom. As they made love in the shower, Mac was again amazed by AJ's stamina.   
  
He put on his robe and went to make breakfast, while she got dressed for the day. "Lucky I keep an extra uniform in the Vette!" Mac grinned when she joined him in the kitchen. She kissed him to thank him for the large mug of coffee he handed her. "Now that's coffee!"   
  
"We aim to please, ma'am."   
  
"I hate to leave you this morning," she sighed.   
  
"How about if I come to take you out to lunch, and we can tell them all our news?"   
  
"It might be a bit soon to tell everyone, AJ. We don't want any rumors started that we were involved before this."   
  
"You're right, how long do you think we should wait?"   
  
"Well, if I know Harriett, she will want to have a retirement party for you. We could tell them then."   
  
"Sounds perfect," AJ told her as he walked her to her car and kissed her good-bye. "I'll see you here tonight?"   
  
"Yes, I'll just stop at the apartment to pick up some clothes. I'll call you when I leave the office."   
  
The entire forty-five minute drive to JAG Headquarters, Mac planned how she would 'get' Tiner for passing misinformation to AJ. But every time she came up with something truly evil she would remember their incredible night of passion and the fact that they were going to get married and she could not remain angry.   
  
0900 EDT Tuesday, July 22, 2003 JAG Headquarters Falls Church, VA   
  
No one could ever remember a time when they had come in to the office and not found Colonel Mackenzie already there. And this morning above all others, they were amazed that she was not there. Maybe she knew, maybe she had heard before coming in that day, maybe she had known that JAG as they all knew it was coming... no, had come... to an end.   
  
There was a pall hanging over the bullpen when Mac walked in at exactly 0900 that morning. She knew that they had heard the news. No one was speaking. They were all trying to look busy at their desks, you could hear a pin drop in between the phones ringing. The only one expressing emotions of any kind was Harriett, her face was streaked with tears.   
  
Mac noticed all this as she came in, but was so intent on finding out how Tiner could have told AJ the things he had, that they barely registered. Stalking across the bullpen, Mac was waylaid by Harriett.   
  
"Have you heard the news?"   
  
"News? What news?" Mac asked.   
  
"The Admiral's gone...retired! Somehow, he arranged it all yesterday, and today he's gone. Tiner said he thought he saw the Admiral in tears yesterday afternoon in his office," Harriett paused to blow her nose, and Mac started to move passed her to rake Tiner over the coals, when Harriett continued, "And it's all my fault!" before she burst into uncontrollable sobs.   
  
Mac spun back to face Harriett, "Your fault? How could it be your fault?"   
  
"Oh Ma'am, I did something terrible, I thought it would help, but instead it backfired...I am so awful!"   
  
"Come into my office, Harriett, and tell me what you did," Mac took her by the arm and led the way. Closing the door and the blinds, she told Harriett to sit down and to explain.   
  
"It was my fault that the Admiral is gone........oh, what've I done???" Harriett buried her head in her hands and wept.   
  
Going down on one knee next to Harriett's chair, Mac tried to soothe her friend. "Harriett, there's nothing that you could've done that would make me think you're awful! Now calm down a bit and tell me what you think you've done."   
  
"You'll hate me if I tell you," she wailed.   
  
"I couldn't hate you Harriett, now tell me!" Mac used her best 'senior officer' voice.   
  
Harriett sat up straighter in her seat as if trying to come to attention, and said, "I told the Admiral that you were thinking of leaving JAG to be with your old commanding officer, who you were still in love with," all this rushed out in almost a single breath.   
  
"Harriett, why would you tell AJ......the Admiral that?" Mac hoped that her friend would not notice her slip.   
  
But unlike her dear husband, Harriett was a sharp as a tack and her eyes narrowed in a questioning look. "Ma'am....did it work?"   
  
"Did what work?"   
  
"Did the Adm....AJ come to you and finally tell you how he feels about you?" Harriett deliberately made the same slip, just to let Mac she HAD noticed it.   
  
"No, Harriett, the Admiral did not come to me......."   
  
"But something did happen?"   
  
"We were planning on keeping it a secret until the retirement party that I am sure you will be planning...yes, something did happen."   
  
"Ooooooo! But if he didn't come to you, how did you find out that I had told him?"   
  
"He left me a good-bye note on my desk, and when I found it, I went racing out to McLean to confront him."   
  
"That must have been some note!"   
  
"Yes, it was." Mac sighed at her mistake in thinking that it had been a suicide note, and so very grateful that it turned out not to be. "Anyway, now that he's retired, we were able to talk about the feelings we've had for each other for a long time."   
  
"And?" Harriett sat forward in her chair, sensing there was more that Mac was leaving unsaid.   
  
"And......." Mac grinned, "Let's just say that it's a good thing I keep a spare uniform in the car," she wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.   
  
Harriett squealed and came up out of her seat to hug Mac. "Oh, Ma'am, that's fantastic!"   
  
"Yes, it was," Mac answered with a reminiscent smile. "But remember, we want to keep it a secret, Harriett, you can't tell anyone. We want to announce it at the party."   
  
"Announce what?" Harriett looked at her with a come-on-fess-up glare.   
  
Looking slightly guilty at giving away the rest of the secret, Mac considered for a moment trying to fib her way out of explaining, but did not want to lie to her friend. "He asked me to marry him."   
  
Everyone in the bullpen could hear Harriett's scream, they were wondering if they should burst into Colonel Mackenzie's office to see if everything was all right. "Oh my god, that's the most wonderful news I've ever heard!"   
  
"You did not even ask if I said 'yes' or not," Mac teased with a smirk.   
  
"Oh, right! Like you'd say anything else, you've been in love with him almost as long as he's been in love with you."   
  
"Harriett, if you knew about both of our feelings, why didn't you say something sooner?"   
  
"Because I thought that it was best to let the two of you work things out on your own. I just got tired of waiting! Now I have to go plan a retirement/engagement party!" she headed for the door.   
  
"Remember..." Mac started to remind her.   
  
Harriett interrupted, "Yes, I know it's a secret." she sighed.   
  
Mac just smiled as her friend left the office to get her plans underway. 'Well, I guess I don't have to give Tiner a hard time now,' Mac thought as she got her notes ready for court.   
  
******************   
  
Mac had been put temporarily in charge of the JAG offices until such a time as a new Judge Advocate General could be appointed. She would not have minded the extra work load at any other time but, now, when she wanted nothing more than to be with AJ every waking moment, it was hard to concentrate on the work at hand.   
  
Over the next five days, when Mac was not at work, she and AJ spent every moment together. She moved into his home, and made plans to give up her apartment. They spent many hours talking of the future and the past, as well as making plans for the small wedding that they wanted to have.   
  
Harm seemed a bit miffed that his best friend was not around much for those few days. Every time he wanted to stop by for dinner or just to talk, she told him she had other plans. When he questioned her on what they were, he knew he was being stonewalled by her lack of responses.   
  
*******************   
  
1830 EDT Sunday, July 27, 2003 The Robert's Home Falls Church, VA   
  
Harriett had decided to hold the Admiral's retirement party at their home, 'because it should be just family,' she told the staff.   
  
Everyone had been told to be at the Roberts' house by 1830. The Admiral and his date would arrive at 1900. As expected, for military people, all were there on time except for Harm, who was his traditional fifteen minutes late, and Mac, who was not there at all. This caused some concern, because she was never late. Harriett was the only one that knew Mac would be there soon.   
  
At 1900 the doorbell rang. Everyone turned to greet their ex-CO, whom they had not seen since the day before his retirement had been announced. Harriett opened the door, AJ stood there and the date on his arm was Sarah Mackenzie!   
  
"I thought you said the Admiral was bringing a date, Harriett. It's just Mac," Harm commented.   
  
The two in question stepped into the living room and AJ deliberately put his arm around Mac's waist, pulling her closer to his side, before saying, "Actually, you're wrong, Commander. Sarah is not only my date, she's also my fiancée'."   
  
The stunned silence at this announcement caused Harriett to giggle. "You guys should see your faces!" she gasped out as she stepped forward to congratulate and hug the couple.   
  
By that time, Bud had gotten over his shock and came over to congratulate them too. Tiner was next, then Sturgis. Harm was the last one to approach the couple. Before he could say anything, Sturgis asked, "So was this the reason you retired, Sir?"   
  
Mac was about to reply, when AJ said, "No, it wasn't, but it was a wonderful bonus." He had intended to say more, but was sidetracked by the entrance of his namesake.   
  
"Admiral AJ!" he squealed, throwing himself at his favorite adult, other than his parents.   
  
Harm took the Admiral's distraction as an opportunity to pull Mac aside and talk to her. Grabbing her by the arm, he dragged her away from the others and began his tirade, "Mac, have you lost your mind? The Admiral? What could you possibly be thinking?"   
  
Mac tried to speak, but Harm was not done, "I've loved you for years, and just when things are going great between us, you go and get engaged...and to the Admiral? I was just about to start thinking about asking you if we should start dating!"   
  
***********   
  
In the living room, Harriett approached the Admiral with a look on her face that said she didn't want to do what she was about to. "Sir, could I speak with you a minute in private?"   
  
"Certainly, Harriett, but it's not Sir any longer, it's just AJ."   
  
"I'm not sure I'll ever get used to that. I need to apologize to you, Si...AJ. What I told you about Mac was not true, and I hate myself for doing it. You see, it was just that I've felt for so long that the two of you belong together, and I couldn't stand to see you both so lonely. I hope that someday you'll be able to forgive me."   
  
"Harriett, you did us both a favor. But next time just come to us and talk it out, okay?" his tender grin for this wonderful woman who was like a daughter to him, told her that he did forgive her. She sighed in happy relief at not losing the respect that she had come to value so much from this man.   
  
************   
  
Meanwhile in the hall, Mac was about to lay into her partner. "Do you even listen to yourself? That's about as much commitment as picking up your dry cleaning takes! Harm, you're a child...you'll never grow up! I need a MAN in my life that will be there, that's mature, kind, and considerate of my needs! You'll always come first with you, and I'd only be a dim second. AJ loves me with all his heart, and is willing to put his heart on the line for me. You MIGHT start thinking about dating me after seven years? Sorry, Harm, that ship's sailed. I love AJ, he is all you'll be someday...when you grow up. I hope you'll find someone to love one day, then you'll understand," she stood up on tiptoes and kissed his cheek just as AJ came into the hall to see them.   
  
"So this is where you got off to," AJ said as he walked over to them.   
  
"You missed me already?" Sarah asked with a grin.   
  
"Whenever you're out of my sight, Darlin'. Harriett would like us all in the living room, she said something about gifts to be opened."   
  
"I was just telling Harm that we needed to find someone for him to love. AJ...do you know if Francesca is dating anyone?" Mac asked as she slipped her arm into his.   
  
"Why is it that as soon as a woman gets engaged, she feels the need to pair up the entire world?" AJ grinned indulgently at her.   
  
"Because we want everyone to be as happy as we are, silly!" was the answer he got.   
  
"Silly? Did you just call me...SILLY?" he bellowed.   
  
"Um...yeah. What are you going to do about it?" she teased.   
  
An affected cough from the room they just entered was Sturgis' way of letting them know they had a room full of witnesses. Harriett came up to them and directed both to sit on the couch so AJ could open the retirement gifts from his staff. The look AJ shot Sarah, promised he would continue the conversation later, and that paybacks would be hell!   
  
Little AJ climbed up onto the couch between them and demanded to be allowed to 'help' open the gifts. Harriett moved to take him away, but the Admiral stopped her. "It'll be good practice for when we have our own, Harriett," he told her.   
  
Harm having followed them back into the living room, heard this and said, "You're very lucky, Admiral, Mac will make a wonderful mother!"   
  
Mac looked up startled at this, 'Maybe he's growing up at last!' she thought, but only smiled, and said, "Thank you, Harm. You'll be a great father too, when your turn comes."   
  
The presents were opened and thank yous were said, when AJ looked down and saw that his little namesake was asleep between Sarah and himself. AJ smiled and tapped Sarah on the shoulder, nodding down at the sleeping child. Harriett caught the action and said she would put him to bed.   
  
"Harriett, would you let AJ and I do it tonight?" Mac pleaded with her friend. Smiling at them with understanding, Harriett agreed to let them put her son to bed.   
  
AJ lifted the boy into his arms, and together, he and Sarah made their way up the stairs. In his room, Sarah turned back the covers and AJ laid the child down. They worked together to undress him, allowing him to sleep in just his underwear. Tucking the covers up under his chin, Sarah bent down to kiss his forehead. AJ, with his arm around Sarah's waist also took his turn kissing Little AJ goodnight.   
  
"Did you mean what you said to Harriett downstairs?"   
  
"You mean about us having children of our own? You want children, don't you?"   
  
"Oh, AJ, nothing would make me more complete than to have your child!"   
  
Kissing her tenderly, AJ whispered, "I would love for you to have our child growing under your heart. Because I already have one sexy Marine forever entwined in my heart."   
  
The Beginning 


End file.
